after 6 years I'm going to a meeting

after 10 days gamble free, I've also found that I'm 10 days lie free, deceit free and double life free. The worst thing about it was that I was lying to myself. One cannot gamble without trying to cover their tracks and lying about their whereabouts, lying about money and taking money from other resources to finance their gambling.
It was a great feeling to wake up on monday morning with money in the bank. Usually I would be scraping by for another 10 days till payday, but I went shopping and bought things that I needed and I feel much better for myself. My mood has changed and I'm more open to social events rather than hiding away from the world and sneaking to the club. Still can't believe it took me 6 years to realise this but it's way better than being still trapped in the realm to the reverse atm machines, so I'm greteful for that.

Good for you, Aaron,

You mentioned about not adding to the time you lost. Very insightful, I remember learning for myself that, just by not adding to the list of the damage I did all round, I was making my life better immediately.

It took me a lot more than one meeting to realise that, good for you and enjoy the meetings.

Hi Aaron,

Unloading, on real people who have been where you have been is just so empowering, yes?

At my first meeting, I still remember being so surprised to find that everyone there was talking about what I had believed, until then, was my own secret other life.

It's such a relief, isn't it, to learn that you are not the only one to have fallen into the gambling pit. But even more of a relief, to meet people who have made it back, from there.

Great news, mate!

Ron Mac

Hi Aaron,
Wonderful to read your post. Being with people face to face is like being thrown a lifebuoy when you have fallen overboard, maybe that's why it's called a 'fellowship'. That feeling of being accepted no matter what you have done is awsome, if I told anyone other than a fellow CG that I couldn't be trusted as I was a lier, thief, and manipulator you can imagine their reaction, when I said that at my first meeting I was given hope and support. Not one person judged me or told me I should be ashamed of myself for my wrong doings. That is what keeps me going back to my meetings, because that is where I feel free to be me, warts and all.
A big step taken on your road to recivery.

after 4 days gamble free really got some things off my chest last night at the meeting and it felt good to go to a meeting and share my experiences and see how others came to be in the same room as me. I don't even feel like playing or going near a venue.
One day at a time I think I can kick this thing and not get the time back that I've lost, but not loose any more time in the future.
Aaron

I hope you stick around to see how many of your dreams come true in recovery. They may not be the dreams you thought you wanted but they will be the dreams you need. Day one, good on ya.

I don't chase my dreams, I chase my losses
my nights are full of turns and tosses.
the things I've lost fill me with sorrow
But all I want is a better tomorrow.

One day forward

Hi Aaron,

I hope you enjoy the meeting, best move you'll ever make.
Get a few meetings in and then decide whether it helps or not.

Hi Aaron,

Welcome to the G.A. Forum and it's good to hear that you intend going to meetings.

The Forum is as near as we can make it to a meeting, but nothing can quite replace meeting other members, face to face.

Some of the message from our Spanish member, Jose, is a bit beyond my translating program and my dictionary, but here's enough to get the point he is making;

"by J.G.M. on Sun Jul 25, 2010 8: 33 pm HELLO WHERESTHEGOLD10 YOU SAY: Espero Que Las (I hope that) meetings will help me a quitting the habit for full, or at least only socially play Así Que(so) here goes. FRIEND THE MEETINGS HELP STOP THE HABIT IF YOU ARE CONVINCED TO LEAVE IT, BUT NOT YOU HELP TO QUERRER(?) BEING A SOCIAL PLAYER, US COMPÙLSIVO PLAYERS, NEVER WILL BE SOCIAL PLAYERS. A GREETING EVERY PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION YOUR FUTURE IS NOT A GAME OF CHANCE"

He's so right, that we, in G.A., can't help you to "play only socially". All our experience tells us that once someone becomes addicted to gambling, the only way to remain safe from a return to out of control gambling, is total abstinence.

In the Combo Book, which you will be given at your first meeting, you'll find the following Q & A;

"Can a compulsive gambler ever gamble normally again?

No. The first bet to a problem gambler is like the first small drink to an alcoholic. Sooner or later he or she falls back into the
same old destructive pattern.

Our Gamblers Anonymous experience seems to point to these alternatives: To gamble, risking progressive deterioration or not to
gamble, and develop a better way of life."

I busted, after 6 years without gambling. I wanted to escape from some very bad news about my heart. I tried to use the pokies, as I had before, to switch off the real world and escape into the fantasy of the lights, sounds and excitement. What happened was that I did manage to escape but, within a week, I was flat broke. All my savings and the next two week's rent money had gone. I was back to being the totally out of control gambler that I was before I found G.A.

That was almost 11 years ago, and my life now is financially secure and enjoyable, without gambling.

Aaron, you can live without gambling, but you can't live without being financially secure!

Welcome again,

Ron Mac
Website Moderator

HOLA WHERESTHEGOLD10
DICES :
Espero Que Las Reuniones me ayudará un Dejar El Hábito Por completo , o al Menos Jugar Sólo socialmente Así Que Aquí va .
AMIGO LAS REUNIONES TE AYUDARAN A DEJAR EL HABITO SI TU ESTAS CONVENCIDO DE QUERER DEJARLO, PERO NO TE AYUDARAN A QUERRER SER UN JUGADOR SOCIAL, NOSOTROS LOS JUGADORES COMPÙLSIVO, NUNCA SEREMOS JUGADORES SOCIALES.
UN SALUDO
TODO PROBLEMA TIENE SOLUCION
TU FUTURO NO ES UN JUEGO DE AZAR

Hi Aaron,

I am new here as well, and i am glad you have discovered it now. I had to get to 32 and alot more that you to come to the same conclusion. I have gone 2 days so far..


That is so good about your girl mate, absolutely fantastic and that will help you so much.

Keep in touch with your progress mate.

Cheers

Hey all, my name is Aaron, I have been a gambler for about 6 years.

It all started when I moved to the ACT and was saving for a house, I had about 12,000 in the bank. I'd played the pokies on and off since my 18th birthday but never put huge amounts into them. I didn't know many people in the capital and I was lonely so I started playing the pokies down the local RSL club. I had alot of time on my hands so I would always make an excuse to play.
After a few weeks playing them was all I would think about, wheres the gold was the worst and the super bucks, I would chase my losses on them until I was satisfied that it had paid me a 'decent' win, because I believed that the machine "owed" me that much. This was a very expensive pastime as sometimes I would loose $1000 in one night.
My bank account was emptied out in a few weeks but yet I still wasnt satisfied. So then I turned to credit cards as my safety blanket and an assurance that I would still be able to play my 'favourite' machines.
I had 3 credit cards that I eventually maxed out due to gambling

at 25 years old I was $42,000 in debt and had nothing to show for it, credit card companies were constantly ringing and asking for their money and all I could deliver them was empty promises. I probably would have taken out ten credit cards if that is what it took to fulfill my addiction, it didn't sink in as I thought I'll pay it back when my big win comes.
Wins did come along the way, the biggest I had was $2,500, I defied the odds one day at a country club and hit a max prize on heart of gold, other wins were $1,800, $1,400, $1,200 on the wheres the gold and $1,100 on the super bucks.
The machines always make you believe that the feature is coming and when it does come and pays nothing, it makes you more and more pissed off.
After cutting all my cards and going on a tight budget to reduce the debt, I gave myself a year of trying to get the debt under control, I got the debt from $42,000 down to $31,000 and then lost the plot again, ringing up the companies and getting replacement cards, only to undo the past years hard work.
I have struggled for a long time with the pokies and it affects everyone around me, my mood changes when I'm there and nobody can talk any sense into me because when I'm playing the machines I'm in the zone and don't want anyone to wreck my rhythm.
After a bad loss I usually dwell on it and am shitty for about a week after but recover very quickly when I come into money and can play again.
I have a beautiful girl by my side who supports me in everything that I do, she is totally awesomeness, when I told her about my wrongdoings today she said , "what can I do to help"? I just burst into tears but was glad that she understood!
I've tried to quit many times but they have failed, I only seem to go back and play more.
I'm hoping the meetings will help me kick the habit altogether, or at least play only socially so here goes.